Recently I have been digging into some awesome things that XXX Church has been doing. For those of you who don’t know they are a church that takes exists to spread the love of Jesus to porn stars and others in the porn industry as well as to help people who are addicted to porn.
For me, like many other men, this hits home. I am a recovering addict. Everyday I struggle with temptation to look at porn.
I love the ministry of XXX Church because quite simply it helped me get clean. I currently have X3 Watch (their accountability software) on my computer and have had it on my computers for years. I have a friend in Phoenix who gets the reports as well as my wife, Jenn.
As I was watching Craig Gross’ sermon online, 6 Ways to Ruin Your Marriage, I realized that my next step in conquering this addiction is to publicly talk about it and to help people like I have been helped.
I have decided to dedicate a whole chapter in my book to marriage mentorship with specifics on porn in the youth and young adult generations and how it can and will destroy your marriage.
Over the years I personally have taken a ton of mentorship on porn. I have seen counselors, I have had accountability partners, I have talked with countless pastors. Every mentoring relationship that I have had, every conversation I had that made me so uncomfortable that I shook or had dry heaves or even threw up got me where I am. The Godly mentorship I took help me change and be restored. It helped me restore my marriage.
Too many times mentorship is uncomfortable or we think we can do things on our own. I know first hand this doesn’t work. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to ask questions that hurt. Marriage isn’t easy and the last thing we should do when we are hurting as couples is to introvert and pull away from the people who care about us most. That’s exactly what we want to do but that’s what makes us fail.
In an earlier post I wrote about Thomas Edison and the light bulb, he failed many times, he succeeded only once and it changed the world. There a million ways to fail at marriage but only one way to succeed. Find a couple who has a successful marriage and ask them to counsel and mentor you as a couple. You will make lifelong friends and if you listen to the mentorship you will set yourself up to succeed.
Now because I love my wife and respect her I am going to get her permission before I post this…